Don't forget to put the seat down...

Warning To The Grammarically Correct: If it just bothered you that I wrote "Grammarically", you may as well leave now because my grammar gets even worse.

My Photo
Location: Land of Runny Noses, Flatulence, Bugs and Plenty of Roads....d

I'm a wife and mom to three boys. I love everything 80's, anything chocolate and loathes politics. I like to run for fun (preferably NOT in the hot, hot sun)....

Sunday, May 28, 2006

Oh, to be a kid again!

To be able to play in the rain without even a second thought.

To be free-spirited.

To have no big worries.

To go tell your mom that you don't need a bath now!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Do You Think She Means It?

I was at a red light this morning and I noticed that the woman driver in front of me had a normal-sized piece of paper taped in her back window. The words were typed very neatly, but were a little small. I pulled up a little closer and strained my eyes to read what is said.

It said - and I quote:

"If you like your car I suggest that you don't park your car up on my ass."

It also had some other things written, but I was scared to get any closer to her car!

It's Time For A Math Quiz!
(This quiz is sponsored Mother-In-Law!)

1.) Kids + Giant Snickers Bars + Can of Coke = ???

2.) If two kids each have a massive Snickers bar which is followed by each of them having a can of Coke, whose head will explode first - The kids' or their mother's?

Need further proof? Here ya go!

Video Hosting - Upload Video - Video Sharing

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Hamster Watch: 2006 (Breaking News)

The culprit has be caught! -- Just as I was about to write him off for good. Christian and Timmy found him last night in the basement. We put him back in his cage and bolted (and taped) it back shut. By the sounds of his squeaking I could tell that he was not happy to be found. The hamster that goes by a whole lot of alias' is quite thin and he doesn't look very well. I'm going to keep eye on him and the boys have been warned that they better leave him alone for a while so he can get better.

This case is CLOSED!!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

My Morning: Part II - In Search of Mike and Ike -or- How I Made a Truck Drivers Day

There I was just sitting in rush hour traffic and it was more hour than rush. The interstate traffic was heavier than it's usual heavy-self at 8:00 in the morning. Stop and go. Stop and go. I finally got a chance to open up the box of Mike and Ikes that I grabbed on the way out of the house. Since it was a small box, I just poured all of the contents in my left hand. Now there is a pattern that I follow when I eat Mike and Ikes. I eat the flavor I like the least first and that is followed the one I like the second on and so on...until I get to my favorite flavor. So it's red, yellow,orange, green and pink.

I'm driving - or should that be 'stop and going' in the left hand lane. Just listening to the radio and eating my Mike and Ikes. Traffic is c-r-a-w-l-i-n-g. Finally, I get to my favorite flavor and unfortunately this box of Mike and Ikes only and two of them. As I go to put the last one in my mouth, the Mike and Ike slipped out of my hand and right onto my seat. I HAD to find my last Mike and Ike... I just had to!

There I was with right hand in between my legs seaching for the lost Mike and Ike that was now under my butt. I am searching and searching with my hand. Finally, I got my hand right under my butt and got that Mike and Ike! I grabbed it and just as I was about to put it in my mouth something told me to look up and to my right.

There he was with the biggest smile on his face. I guess it must be almost every guys fantasy to see a woman in her car sitting in traffic with her hand and arms by her crotch.

You're welcome Mr. truck driver man.

Hamster Watch: 2006 (Update)

Unfortunately, there is no news to report on the elusive hamster. There have been no signs of him for well over a week now. Even the dixie cups that I leave on the floor have been untouched. This really isn't looking very good - but thankfully I'm not smelling anything 'bad'. It looks like I have failed as an expert hamster tracker. I just don't want to become a 'dead' hamster tracker or a hamster funeral director.

Is this the end of Porter aka Bowzer aka Princess aka Princess Bowzer aka C.R.A.P. ?

We may never know...

My Morning : Part I - aka - Alarm clocks and School Bus and Poptarts....Oh My!

Today is starting off pretty lousy.

I must have put the button on the wrong setting when I turned my alarm clock on last night. Instead of waking up to the sound of 'You're Beautiful' (or whatever song the radio guys play over and over and over again) I was awoken out of bed by that annoying beeping sound. - You know, the sound of 1,000 screaching monkeys screaming in your head and you can never turn the damn alarm off fast enough. - I did manage to turn it off and I put my head back on my pillow with the intention of just laying (or is it lying?) in my bed for just a couple more minutes.

Thirty minutes later...

I wiped the drool off my mouth and scurried out of bed. Time is precious, as we all know. However, it is even more precious when you are a mom to kids who have to be at the school (bus) at a certain time....And it is even more precious when you have kids that have to be at school a certain time AND you have to be at work at a certain time too. I did manage to get myself ready in a somewhat decent time. I was still running a little late. Sure my pants are wrinkly and I'm pretty sure I put my deodorant on, but who cares I knocked 15 minutes off my best time.

I went into the older boys' room to get them up. Christian was already getting out of bed. I never have to worry about getting Christian up in the morning. He has to be one the most happiest morning persons I've ever met. I considered this a curse when he was baby and he wanted to wake up at 6 (sometimes 5)a.m. However, now it is so nice to have him just jump out of bed the minute I open my bedroom door. There is no screaming, 'Wake up!' with him or no moaning and groaning coming from him.

Now Timmy, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. I usually let him stay in the bed for a little while so he can wake up at his own pace. Otherwise, he is just a almost six-year-old monster...and for those who have ever run across that kind of monster knows how dangerous they can be with their growls and snarls. Oh and the morning breath you get a wiff of because while they don't want you to look -or talk- to them, they insist on hanging right on you. This morning Timmy was slower (and more dangerous) than usual so I had to act like I was going to sit on him to actually get him out of bed.

We had wardrobe discussions ('but mom, I don't wanna wear that shirt.') and wardrobe malfunctions (hole in the 'butt' stiching of shorts.). We had breakfast menu frowns ('I don't want french toast. I just want a poptart.') and a burnt breakfast fiasco(it was the poptart...those things are EVIL!).

Since I had to feed and dress Mason I didn't have time to feed myself breakfast. I grabbed the most convenient thing I could find. Not a banana. Not a cereal bar. Not even a (evil) poptart. I grabbed a small box of Mike and Ikes. Yep, the breakfast of mom's who are running late and need a sugar rush.

Happily, I got the boys to the school bus on time.

Getting to work is another story.

(To be continued....)

Friday, May 19, 2006

We All Don't Scream For Ice Cream

Well, it has happened. It's taken almost three years, but alas the notorious ice cream man has discovered (and invaded) my development this week. It was a sneak attack too. While I knew one day he would find us, I wasn't expecting it to be THAT day. But you know, that is how the ice cream man works...he comes when you least expect it and it usually is at the wrong time too(say right before you are to eat dinner). He came in with a bang. No - I take that back - he came in with the musical chimes of "Happy Birthday" coming from his truck (or was that a van?) bringing his artillary of nutty buddies, snocones, Spongebob ice creams, Spiderman ice creams, etc...

Day One (Monday, May 15, 2006 approximately 6:46 p.m.)

The first day the ice cream man came around my family were all sitting around on the patio. We were just finishing up dinner. I heard the ice cream man before the boys did. There he was playing his "bait" to lure those pure innocent children to his truck. Filling them with icecream....sugary ice cream....sugary icecream that usually has some sort of candy involved to make the bait more appealing...My palms became sweaty with every minute that the ice cream man's song became louder.

I knew the very second the boys heard the music. I could see their heads perk up and twitch side to side. Their eyes moving back and forth in an uncertain movement. It was just like watching Animal Planet - You know when you see those poor antelope at the watering hole. They are all very careful and unsure to get that drink of water and the minute that they put their heads down for a drink....BAM!...they are the main meal of the lions' potluck dinner. - I pretended I didn't hear the oldest boy ask me, "What's that sound?" After about the third time of him asking I acted dumb and said, "I don't know." I was pleasantly surprised when it was left at that.

However, it didn't take long for the sound of the other kids in the neighborhood cry, "The ice cream man is coming! The ice cream man is coming!" The earth shook. - oh wait that was the sound of all of the doors opening and closing as all of the neighborhood kids ran inside their houses begging and pleading for their parents to buy them ice cream.

Things became fuzzy as I became bombared from both sides.

"Can I have an ice cream?"

"Me too, me too."


"Please Mom."

"I want ice cream."

"I want ice cream too."

The memories of my childhood came flashing before my eyes. The vision of a six-year-old me in my Mork and Mindy t-shirt was right before my eyes. I remember how happy I was when my mom bought me an ice cream in the shape of a foot (God, those were good.). What a happy time! Then another memory of me came before me. I was still six, but this time I was wearing a rainbow shirt and I was so sad because my mom didn't buy me an ice cream from the ice cream man. Instead she gave me a dull and boring orange popsicle from our fridge. I was crushed! I didn't want my kids to be crushed too! So I caved and told the boys they could have one.

Day 2 (Tuesday, May 16, 2006, approximately 6:50 p.m.)

The kids were more aware this time and were on the lookout. They heard him from blocks away this time...causing pure pandamonium on our street. The closer the ice cream man got, the more chaotic and frenzied the kids became. All the kids on the block including my own are getting ice cream....again. One parent that lives two blocks over drove his kids to my block for his kids' and his own sanity. Just from the sale of two ice creams alone, I'm sure the ice cream man is paying for a box of ice cream. I think it is robbery for what he is charging, but then I look at the long lines and conclude that I am in the wrong business.

Day 3 (Wednesday, May 17, 2006, approximately 7:15 p.m.)

The ice cream man was late. The parents - including myself - had a ray of light in the hope that maybe he wouldn't come. However, all light was dimmed as soon as the ice cream man's battle cry was heard. There were fewer kids this time, but he still did good business. And, yes, I did buy my kids ice cream....again...

Day 4 (Thursday, May 18, 2006, approximatelly 6:48 p.m.)

He is back at his regularly scheduled time. I noticed that some parents took their kids for a drive during that time, probably in the hopes to avoid the ice cream man. He still has a good fanbase in the kids and still does pretty good business. My boys did get ice cream, but with grandma's money.

In Conclusion...
Will the ice cream man come again today? Probably. Will he still do good business? I'm pretty sure he will. Will my boys have ice cream? Yes, but it won't be from the ice cream man. We have some perfectly good push-ups in the freezer. Will they be crushed? Most likely they will, but you know what? They will get over it - just like I did.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

The Death of a Salesman

(Yes, this really did happen to me. Hopefully, one day the real 'Mr. Salesman' will be able to hear - or read - MY side of the story.)

Dear Mr. Salesman,

You know who you are. You, the one who knocked on my door that Saturday afternoon back in February. That's the Saturday my husband took my two older boys to the Home Depot for who knows what. It was just the baby and I home alone. Since I wasn’t planning on going anywhere and I certainly wasn’t expecting you to come-a-knocking, I was wearing my favorite bum clothes. My outfit consisted of sweat pants that were so loose that the crotch of the pants went almost to my knees and red sweatshirt. It was so quiet in my house that Saturday afternoon that the baby fell asleep on my lap and my heavy eyelids soon followed. I dozed off.

I was startled from my peaceful sleep by the sound of a ringing doorbell. I quickly got up and went to the door with babe in arm. I wasn't going to open the door, but I noticed that you saw me peeking through the side glass window. When I opened the door you greeted me with a freakishly chipper..."Hello". As your mouth started moving, my mind wandered off hoping that you would get to the point of what you were trying to sell. I already planned what would happen since I’ve been in this scenario many of times. I would let you do your pitch and I will very nicely tell you, “no thanks”. I would shut my door and you could go on your merry way.

As I blankly stared at you, in that --I am here, but I'm not-- sort of way, I noticed that you gave me the once-over. You looked me up and you me looked down. That's when it happened. You know what I am talking about. You gave me ‘that’ look. I’m not quite sure how to describe that face you made. It wasn’t a look of disgust, but rather a look of bewilderment.

You surprisingly wrapped up your sales-pitch with, “…but you seem too busy with the baby and all. You probably don’t have much time.” I nodded in agreement – or was that shock? Before the word “yes” even came out of my mouth you were already at the end of my driveway. I thought to myself, “What a nice man. He doesn’t want to waste my time.”

I stepped back into my house and closed the door. The baby was getting heavy in my left arm so I decided to move him to my right arm. As I shifted the baby, I noticed that he was wet from a leaky diaper. I looked down at myself and that is when I saw ‘it’. There ‘it’ was; right in the center of my droopy pants with the droopy crotch. A big - and it was big - old wet spot in the most inconvenient and obvious place. It must have happened when the baby was sleeping on my lap. I’m sure you saw ‘it’ too and ‘it’ was the reason for your quick departure.

My face turned red from embarrassment. I wanted to run out the door and yell out to you, “It wasn’t me!” But alas you were long gone. You see, Mr. Salesman, while I am usually quite busy “with the baby and all” I will always - and I mean always – find the time to do ‘that’ the proper way. I may be busy, but I am still – for the most part – civilized. After you left my house you probably were too dazed to knock on my other neighbors’ doors. Or you just went to the bar to go tell your other salesmen friends – while laughing hysterically – about the lady who wet her pants.

At least now you know my story. I don’t suppose you were selling diapers that day. You know, it’s hard to find a good diaper that doesn’t leak nowadays.


The Lady With The Wet Pants (But It's Not What You Think)

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

A Funny Thing Happened as I was Sitting on the Toilet....

Imagine you are sitting on the toilet....painting your toenails. You stop painting your nails for a minute to scratch your nose. As you look up and you see something on the bathroom ceiling. It takes you a minute to figure out what it is ('cause you are getting old and your eyesight isn't as good as it used to be.). This is what you see:

What is it, you ask?

Why....IT'S FROGS!

And apparently they are reproducing because this is what I found on my bathroom ceiling today.

....And what did YOU get?

Well, Mother's Day has come and left the Weener house. I must say that all in all it really was a nice day. I got to sleep in and let me tell you that extra ten minutes did me wonders. ;) I had a gourmet breakfast (in bed, mind you) of cheerios, semi-burnt toast - that had globs of butter on some parts of it and nothing on other parts - and a glass of iced tea.

What I got from the boys...

Christian and Timmy presented me with their presents that they made for me in school. I have to tell you that the gifts the boys make are always my favorite gifts. I know what they make takes time and I can tell it comes from the heart.

Christian wrote this note at school. It says (in his words):
Dear Mom,
I love you very much. You are doing a good job feed my brother Mason. I'm proud to have a mom like you. Your the best mom in the whole world. I like when you make chicken for dinner. You are so nice to me in many ways like taking me to the zoo. Your very nice to me and Timmy and Mason. Every day at school I think about you. If I had to pick form all the moms in the whole world I would pick you. Also you make my world shin. Your the greatest mom ever.
Love , Christian.
(How sweet is that?)

Now here is what Timmy wrote me:

I'll give you a hundred bucks if you can translate that one. ;) I had to have him read this to me a few times. It says:

"When I feel bad my mom cheers me up. My mom and me play a game."

Yep, he is a boy of many words.

After I got all teary reading what they had written me I was given an envelope. "This is from the kids." Rich informed me. I opened up the card and inside was a gift card to Kohls for a generous amount of money. I thanked the boys and gave them each a hug...some more willing to accept it than others because of the whole mom-cooties thing.

What I got from my loving husband...

As I was about to get out of bed, Rich had this huge smile on his face as he handed me a gift bag. "This is from me." must be a G-rated present if he was giving me the gift in front of the boys. I looked inside the bag. I pulled out a white piece of clothing with pink wording . I didn't know what to say. It was so... thoughtful?- No that's not the word. I mean it WAS thoughtful that he did give me something, but...that? Okay, I got it. -- It was so... Raiders. - It was so my husband! My loving husband gave me --are you ready for this?-- a white and pink Raiders jersey!

A jersey?! You know what this means, right? Every Sunday during football season I will be expected to wear the This is going to be the beginning of the whole domino effect. I guess I should be thankful because now I have something to wear with those silk Raiders pajama pants that he had gotten me for Christmas! I don't know...maybe he is on to something?

<<<---- The new look for Fall 2006. (Hell, I've seen worse!)

You know, my birthday is in a couple of months...I wonder what Raiders-type item I will get next? -- underwear? (oh wait-- I got that on Christmas '03) or maybe a comforter set (yeah, he can get that for his NEW wife.).

Men...gotta love 'em. (Okay, you don't gotta, but I sure do. :) )

Thursday, May 11, 2006

The Things a Mother Says
by Me

“No! No! No! No!”
“Because I said so.”
“Is that you with that God-awful smell?”
“I’m right here - you don’t have to yell.”
“Go ask your dad.”
“I hope it’s a fad.”
“Your college tuition?”
“Your future ambition?”
“It’s not nice to say ‘crappy’.”
“I just want you to be happy.”
“Clean up your room.”
“It’s not a sword - it’s a broom!”
“Don’t hit your brother!”
“Because I’m your mother!”
“Did you remember to brush?”
“Did you remember to flush?”
“Let me kiss your booboo and make it all better.”
“It’s chilly outside so don’t forget your sweater.”
“It’s time for you to go to sleep.”
“Your brother is napping -- don’t make a peep.”
“Leave the poor dog alone!”
“That's not how you answer the phone.”
“I asked before we left if you had to go.”
“What do you mean ‘you don’t know’?”
“Stop doing that.”
“A hamster IS a rat!”
“You know you must share.”
“It’s only because I care.”
“Is that your muddy footprints on my rug?”
“Come over here and let me give you a hug.”
“You make me so proud.”
“Hold my hand – there’s a crowd.”
“What did you do to your hair?”
“That’s not how you sit on a chair.”
“Be polite.”
“Off with the light.”
“That costs way too much money.”
“100 times told – and your joke is still funny.”
“I love you so.”
“Where did the time go?”

There might be some things I tell you
that you don’t really like to hear.
I say them out of love, compassion
and –sometimes- even fear.
So when the years have past on by
and I am no longer around.
You will still hear my voice inside your head
telling you that you're too old to be acting like a clown!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Helping Daddy

Rich was getting the mulch out of the driveway yesterday and Timmy decided to get his shovel and wheelbarrow to help. Why do I have that feeling that it will much different ten years from now? All I can picture is Rich sitting in a lawn chair with his legs propped up drinking lemonade as two (maybe three) disgruntled young men ( one with orange hair, one with a nose ring and the other with a tattoo that I won't know about until twenty years later. ;) ) are very unhappily doing yard work?

These little things are something I'll always remember.

Hamster Watch: 2006 (Update)

Do you think our culprit fell for this?

We were going for a restaurant-feel for this trap. Come on -- What hamster doesn't like to eat out? Now here is a little background on the structure. The bird trophies were Timmy's idea. He said he thought it would make the restaurant look "fancy". The tin on the side of the trap was Christian's idea. He thought that if the hamster jumped on it the sound would wake him up and he could catch the hamster. (Ummm...this coming from the same kid who slept through a bunch of videotapes and bucket collapsing on the floor.) It was my idea to mention the female hamsters on the sign. What young, bachelor wouldn't mind being with the females? (In a no-kid environment I would've written "Live, Nude Hamsters". ;)...wait let me strike that... in a no-kid environment there wouldn't be any hamster(s) in the first place!) After this picture was taken we spread some food and carrots on the floor to entice the subject.

So did he fall for it the first night?

In short - No. . I thought maybe the bird statues might have scared him -you know because of the whole hunter/prey thing - so I removed them. Timmy was upset that I removed them and I didn't remove Christian's tin. So to be fair I removed that as well.

Did that work?

Nope...not on the second night either. The next day, I removed the sign because maybe the hamster was confused because the picture on the sign looks more like a dog....a deformed looking dog...but a dog all the same.

Did it work that third night?

Nothing! Now by this point I was beginning to worry that the hamster was going to dehydrate. The following night I put a dixie cup full of water next to the "restaurant". Did he mess with the trap? The rat didn't! However, I'm sure he enjoyed the nice cup of water because it was all gone in the morning!

I guess it's time to make a new trap!

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Ready or Not...

Last night Rich and I were sitting around just flocking (don't get that confused with the other "f" word. ;) ) on the couch. He brought up the subject of who is going to watch Mason when the rest of us goes to Philly for a ....okay, don't laugh.... comic book convention. -Sidenote: This was not my idea! I'm going as a birthday present for Rich. He told me that he "wishes I was more involved in his hobbies". So let's see...I could watch a whole season of football with Rich yelling at the t.v. or I could spend one measly day with a bunch of people who like to talk about things such as how much better Spider-Man's old costume is compared to his new one. I like to be tortured swiftly instead of it I opted for the convention. - So anyway...

Rich suggested that his mom could come over our house and watch Mason for the day. Now his mom drives 25 miles (each way) to our house five days a week to pick Timmy up from school. Between the drive and taking care of Rich's dad it really has taken a toll on her. I say "No, how 'bout I just ask my mom?" It's true that my mom has Mason five days a week, but I know she wouldn't mind if I asked her and plus she is in much better health.

He had only one problem with my choice. "Yeah but we have to drive south to drop him off and then shoot right back up north to go there." (my mom doesn't drive)


"So, we'll have to leave earlier."

"So we'll leave earlier then."

"Lately you've been running behind...we'll probably get there at 10 because of how slow you are at getting ready."

"Ummm excuse me, but I don't only get "myself" ready! I have three other people -- excluding myself -- that I have to help get ready. "

"Oh yeah, that's right." (Oh yeah, you're an ass sometimes.)

So what is the resolution? -- My mom will watch Mason. I will get Mason ready and fed. Rich will help Christian and Timmy get ready and fed (they are pretty self-sufficient) -- but Rich is not allowed to pick out their clothes (you should see the outfits he comes up with sometimes!).

My Latest Addiction...

These are so so so good! It's a cross between a rice cake (which I'm not a big fan of) and light chip. Even the boys like them which is saying a heck of a lot. I figure if I'm going to snack, I might as make it more on the healthy side! They are also pretty good when you dip it in Dannon Light N Fit Vanilla yogurt. For those of you who do Weight Watchers, I think nine chips equal one point.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Is it Monday yet?

Between baseball, t-ball, soccer registration, a birthday party, a crabby baby who is teething, an opionated seven-year-old who thinks he is always right, a sneaky almost six-year-old who likes to test his (my?) limits, a frisky almost 34-year-old who doesn't get that I am tired, going to the portrait studio, landscaping, cleaning, vacuuming, laundry, hamster-trap making, etc... I am so ready for Monday to come. As much as I love my family, I just want to go to work, sit at my desk and RELAX! (It's so much easier to "pretend" to be working when I'm at work!)

Now realize after lunchtime tomorrow (Monday) all I will be thinking is...."COME ON FRIDAY! I WANT TO BE WITH MY FAMILY!".

Friday, May 05, 2006

Hamster Watch : 2006 (Special Report)

It's been almost a month since the hamster known as Porter II, Bowzer, Princess Bowzer, C.R.A.P has escaped from our custody. Since the past few stakeouts have resulted in the knowledge that he is indeed still alive, we have still yet to come across his hideout. Thanks from a tip from a concerned citizen (Thanks Dawn!) who has also had to deal with such incidents we had a new game plan in action.

The Trap:

The Plan:

We were to seduce the perpetrator with a trail of food. This trail was to lead him to a stairway of even more food. He was to follow the stairs to the top where he would see a bounty of food and water at the bottom. He was to "jump" in and be stuck there until his capture. Brilliant...wouldn't you say?

What did my fellow detectives have to say? (This is a reinactment.)
And the Rookie detective?

And how about our trusty guard dog?

Even with the doubt of my team, I still wanted to follow through with the plan of action. I must admit that the structure was not as sturdy as I would have liked it to be, however, it did pass the FINGER TEST. The Finger Test is a complicated test that involves my index and middle fingers. I move my two finger as if they are "walking". I "walked" my finger up the structure and even made them "jump" up and down. Needless to say the structure passed the test. We were to follow through with the plan...that (last night) night.

As I woke up this morning, I was eager to see if we had indeed caught the culprit. This is a picture of the scene:
I must admit that this was very disappointing to see. It appears the the Finger Test is not as fool-proof as originally thought! We will retry this idea once again, but with a more sturdy structure. (And no Finger Test!)

Just an FYI, but we have reason to believe that the suspect has changed his appearance. We have digitally changed his appearance to show you what he may look like now:

If you come across this hamster, please do not try to apprehend him yourself....He may put little hamster "bullets" on you!

Stay tuned for continuing coverage of Hamster: 2006!

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Heel Shoe Fits....

I was in dire need of spring/summer shoes. The sole of my last good pair of black sandals deflated on me the other day. No really, it deflated just like a balloon. The sole of the sandal sat a little high and as I was walking from the parking lot at work to my office I hear a soft hissing sound coming from my right foot. My office is about a mile away from the parking lot so the more I walked the more I looked like Quasimodo. I made a note that I had to go shoe shopping as soon as I got off of work. Just an FYI, but I am not a shoe diva. Hell I'm not even a shoe slave. I simply buy shoes because I'm not allowed in any establishment without any on my feet. In a perfect world I would walk around in my bare feet. I know my neighbors think I'm crazy and - besides for some obvious reasons- one of those reasons could be that I go outside - no matter the weather - with my hillbilly bare feet.

Things never go as I plan. My plan was to get off work my regular time, pick up Mason from my mom's house and then stop at Kohls to get a pair of shoes. Of all the days to pick up my ringing phone a minute before I was to call it a day - today was the day. Of course it was a problem customer who keeps me at work almost 20 minutes longer than usual. I hurriedly limped to the garage and passed a few high school students. I was ever so happy to amuse them with my sloppily-manuevered strut. From there I uneventfully arrived at my mom's house to pick up Mason and it would be smooth sailing from there, right? Let's see...we had to stop at home to feed Mason because you know after being in traffic jam for forty minutes makes a baby hungry (and mommy just a weensy bit crabby!). After I fed Mason, we headed off to the store. We were there for...oh...about fifteen minutes - give or take - and we were done. Piece of cake! *cough*

By the time Mason and I got home from our excusion Rich was finally home with the older two boys. I went into the house through the garage door with bag and babe in arms. As he sorted through the mail he asks where I've been. I old him where I ventured too and I had to wrestle with the shopping bag to take out the shoebox. I opened the box and grabbed a shoe. "See." I was so proud to show him my purchase. Then I did it. I asked the ever dreaded question. "What do you think? Do you like them?" I should know better...really I should. I have been married to this man for over 11 years and to think I could ask his fashionated-opinion - let alone get an answer I desire - is absurd . He takes one look and says, "They are ugly." I got all defensive and asked, "What's wrong with them?" He started opening the mail and said, "They are just ugly." And that was that.

I can tell you what was wrong with the shoes. There were no uncomfortable straps and/or buckles and they didn't add six inches to my height. The shoes I had bought didn't scream, "COME ON OVER HERE BIG BOY AND I'LL SHOW YOU A GOOD TIME.". The shoes I bought quiestly said, "I am a busy mom and I need to take my boys to their baseball games, doctor visits and other motherly things." Here, let me show you a visual.

Here is the shoe I bought:

This is the shoe Rich wishes I'd bought.
I trip over my own bare feet. I would kill myself in those stilts! I could just see the headline now:

Mom Of Three Dies by Tripping Over Own Feet And Impales Herself With Her Shoe!

Just goes to show you that if the shoe fits, you don't necessarily (or should) have to wear it.

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Is He Freakin' Cute or What?

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Monday, May 01, 2006

Favorite Quotes of the Day

"You are my brother and my best friend." (I overheard Christian (7) say this to Timmy (almost 6) ...Needless to say two minutes later they were at each others necks )

"Awww ...Why did you make barbeque chicken? You know it gives me stinky gas!" ( Timmy said this to me after I told him what was for dinner.)

"For some reason you look cute today." (My husband told me this when I got home from work....I'm still trying to figure out if this is a compliment.)

HAMSTER WATCH: 2006 (Update) ver-wy ver-wy quiet. I'm hunting hamster!

Still no hamster, but I know he is around. I fill a dixie cup full of water and one full of food and put them on the floor in the boy's room every night. Every morning they come up pretty much empty. It is a strong lead, but I'm about to give up on ever finding that hamster! I've been feeding this damn hamster every night and I still don't know of his whereabouts. Of course
I've now given him no reason to ever be found. I mean he has the perfect life...He can go wherever he wants and he still gets fed!

I'm pretty sure he is in the older boys' room, but where? I looked in every crevice of the boy's room. I have to admit that I wasn't going to look in/on/under the boys' hamper because just by the smells alone would be suicide - nothing could possibly survive. However who was I kidding? We are talking about a critter that eats and sleeps around it's own poop! I figure by now Daisy would've sniffed him out, but she is so old and lazy. The hamster could perform the whole production of "Cats" in front of her face and the dog still won't budge.

Where can that mop-head be?