Trying To Make Mason Go On Potty Is Like...

Trying to make Amy Winehouse go to rehab. :) In fact we wrote a little song about it...


Potty

They tried to make me go to the potty
I said ‘no, no, no’
Yes make my diaper brown/black and when I come back
You’ll know, know, know

I ain’t got the time
And if my mommy thinks I’m fine
She’s tried to make me go potty
I won’t go, go, go

I’d rather be in a diaper all day
It’s the reformist toddler way
Coz there’s nothing
There’s nothing you can teach me
That I can’t learn from Elmo, okay

Didn’t get a diaper rash
But I know it can happen in a flash

They’re tryin to make me go potty
I said no, no, no
Yes make my diaper brown/black and when I come back
You’ll know, know, know

I ain’t got the time
And if my mommy thinks I’m fine
She’s tried to make me go potty
I won’t go, go, go

The potty said, why you think you here?
I said, I got no idea
I’m gonna, I’m gonna loose my diapy
So I always keep a new one near

Said the potty, I’m not impressed
Wipe me, yeah baby
And go rest

I’m tryin to make me go potty
I said no, no, no
Yes make my diaper brown/black and when I come back
You’ll know, know, know

I don’t ever wanna be wet again
I just, ooo, I just need a friend
I’m not gonna spend a week
Have everyone think I’m on a dry mend

It’s not just my pride
It’s just I really want to be dried

I’m tryin to make me go potty
I said no, no, no
Yes make my diaper brown/black and when I come back
You’ll know, know, know

I ain’t got the time
And if my mommy thinks I’m fine
She’s tried to make me go potty
I won’t go, go, go

If You Name It After A Dance That They Did When They Were Young, They Will Buy It....

A company is selling a phone that is targeted towards people of...ummm....advanced age. (Read: They're old.) It's called Jitterbug. Maybe you have seen a commercial for it at some time or other. I can't exactly remember how the commercial goes, but I do know this: As soon as I see the commercial, that damn song is in my head for the rest of the day.

"Jitterbug....do....do....do....do....dodo....The Jitterbug....do....do...do.....do.....dodo...."

So anyway...

The concept of the phone is BIG numbers and/or has labels of the most important places to call. (i.e. The operator, the tow company, 911.) Now I am not knocking this product one bit. In fact, I hope they have a phone like this once I am officially* old. I will buy it, that is, if phones aren't obsolete by then. If they are around, however, they'll have to change the name of the phone. The Jitterbug sounds like something for old people. Here is the list of my suggestions for names:

1.) The "Running Man" Phone

2.) The "Moonwalk" Phone

3.) The "Vogue" Phone

4.) The "Electric Slide" Phone

5.) The "Robot" Phone

6.) The "Head Bob Sway Side-To-Side Dance That Kevin Bacon Did In Footloose Along With Every Other White Kid In the 80's " Phone

Anybody else have any suggestions? :)

*Dear ARP - and the company that puts out those nursing home brochures,

Stop sending me stuff in the mail. I'm only 33...er...25.

Weenermom

Hodge-Podge...

These are just some things I've learned (or had to learn again) this summer...

1.) I'm old.

2.) Having an independent - "Look Ma...I can do it all by myself!" 2-year-old - is nice.

3.) Having an independent - "Even though I've been trying to get up in this chair for the past 10 minutes and I'm getting pissed and don't think of helping me because I'll still scream." 2-year-old - is not as nice.

4.) Apparently, 7-year-olds know EVERYTHING.

5.) My almost 9-year-old is almost as big as me.

6.) I LOVE beer bread from Tastefully Simple.

7.) I LOVE almond cake with strawberry rhubarb stuffed in the middle from Tastefully Simple.

8.) Shoot...I LOVE almost anything that Tastefully Simple sells. (I still don't like the Merlot sauce though...)

9.) I've gained seven pounds...thanks to Tastefully Simple. (Damn them!)

10.) I had to add another mile to my daily run/jog thanks to try to lose those seven pounds.

11.) When you ship your kids to your mil's with the idea that you are going to add some 'spark' with your husband....It actually means that you can go to sleep earlier in the evening and sleep later in the morning.

12.) It seems that size DOES matter...even to a 7-year-old who - when going to the store to buy an athletic cup - refuses to get one that refers to the size he needs as "pee wee".

13.) I've come to the conclusion that I'm never going to get undressed in front of my 2-year-old again. The last time I got undressed in front of him - and before I even got to take my shirt off - he automatically points to my knees and exclaims, "Boobies!!"

14.) I need a boob-lift.

15.) Chocolate.Fudge.Brownies. (Man I'd kill for some right now...)

Yeah...I'm A Crappy Blogger...

Now let's move on...shall we?