Don't forget to put the seat down...

Warning To The Grammarically Correct: If it just bothered you that I wrote "Grammarically", you may as well leave now because my grammar gets even worse.

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Location: Land of Runny Noses, Flatulence, Bugs and Plenty of Roads....d

I'm a wife and mom to three boys. I love everything 80's, anything chocolate and loathes politics. I like to run for fun (preferably NOT in the hot, hot sun)....

Thursday, July 27, 2006

The Toothpaste Cap Experiment -- A (Sort of/Kind of) Rhythmical Update

There was a little toothpaste cap that sat upon the floor.
It was located in the hallway right by the bathroom door.
I wasn't going to pick it up.---Nope, that cap it was not mine
It was gooey and crusty on the outside where once the rim had shine.
I'm not exactly sure how it came about --- sitting on the floor.
But I'm sure it had to do with someone in the bathroom being silly----being bored.
Someone had to pick it up and for once it wasn't going to be me.
Maybe someone will come across it when they pass it to go pee?
So I left that cap right in that spot to see exactly what would happen
Did I honestly think someone would grab it? --- Oh if they did I would be crappin'!
The first day it just stayed there. It wasn't even moved.
The same goes for the second day. To the carpet was it glued?
By the third day I was getting mad. Was I the only one who had eyes?
Did this only happen to women who lived in a houseful of just guys?
For all of those days the cap sat in that spot awaiting for its removal.
What the hell were they waiting for? --- My motherly approval?
I put a piece of candy on the floor to see if it was just me.
An hour later it was gone. --- OMG someone else could see!
On the fourth day the cap was gone. Did it happen? Could it really be true?
Nope! Someone must have kicked further down the hallway and didn't have a clue.
By the fifth day I just gave up. --- The cap... it had to go.
But I still wasn't going to pick it up. ---I thought someone else should know.
So I called my guys to come upstairs and put the cap back on the paste.
I lectured them for a while. I didn't want my little investigation to be a waste.
Will this happen again? There is no doubt - of that - I'm pretty sure.
But it sure won't be another toothpaste cap just sitting on the floor!

A Message From The Weenermom

Click me

(Damn I look good! :))

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Somebody Has A Birthday Today (July 17th) I Wonder Who It Is...

Can you guess who is celebrating a birthday?

Did you say David Hasselhoff? If so, you are correct!

Oh yeah, it's MY birthday today too! I hope my second 21st Birthday will be just like my first...It just HAS to be better than my third 18th birthday. :)

The Toothpaste Cap Experiment: Day Two

It's still there.

This deserves a post of it's own...

Timmy doing his favorite pastime while watching America's favorite pastime!

At least he didn't eat them this time....

Take Me Out To The (hot and humid) Ballgame...

Yesterday, we went to an Orioles game. We dropped Mason off at my mom's house and away we went to the ballgame. It was pretty hot and humid yesterday. At the start of gametime it was 94 degrees out. Rich and the boys tried to get some signatures during practice, but then we had a brief shower that made all of the players go inside. They were a little disappointed , but were not disappointed for very long. The Orioles aren't having a great season (but what's new lately?) and were expecting them to lose (this is the same team that they lost to 15-1 a couple of nights before). However, the Orioled dominated and won 8-1. It made the experience all the better!

Here are some pictures from the game. (And look - There are no pictures of Mason. ;)

Timmy, this is your first O's game ever. Are you excited?

Hey Christian! Who is that "Babe" standing behind you?

Getting ready for the game to begin!

The boys at the gate...Waiting patiently *cough* for them to open up!

We ended up spending $50 with parking (not including tickets though). I still can't get over the fact that it cost $4.50 for a drink! OUCH!

Saturday, July 15, 2006

The Toothpaste Cap Experiment
Can Someone Just Pick The Damn Thing Up!?

Did you ever have a situation where something was on the floor. It could be anything. A baseball card, a comb, a piece of lint....anything. You notice that the particular item has been on the floor for a certain time and no one - and I mean NO ONE - in your house other than yourself will pick the item up. It could be in the middle of a high traffic area and what does everyone do - but you? They either step on it, walk over it or mention that it is there and still don't pick it up. Sometimes they will pick it up, but that is after you either nag them or threaten them. If you know what I am talking about, I would like to welcome you to my world. It's a world where only mommy's have eyes - or at least will bend over and pick whatever it is up.

This all leads me to this:

This morning I was walking in the upstairs hallway and I came across this item.

It's a toothpaste cap. The boys' toothpaste cap to be exact. I know this because:

1.) The cap was right outside the boys' bathroom.

2.) The toothpaste in the boys' bathroom was missing.

3.) I know it is the boys' toothpaste cap because it is smothered in lots blue-colored, dried-up toothpaste.

I stopped midway through bending down to pick the cap up. Why am I the one who always picks these damn things up off the ground? Clearly, I don't/shouldn't have to pick this kind of stuff up all of the time or shoul I have to nag or ask for someone else to pick it up either. I mean, I am not the only one who lives in this house. Right at that second I came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to pick the thing up. Hell, I wasn't even going to mention anything about the cap on the floor. I began to wonder how long this item...this toothpaste cap would stay on the floor. (Note: Mason isn't allowed to wander on the second floor. There are no worries about him finding it or picking it up.)

So as of 9am this morning there is a toothpaste cap on my hallway floor. Anyone want to make any bets on how long it will stay there? I'm thinking it's going to be there for a while because I'm not picking it up....nope I'm not gonna do it.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Don't Try This At Home

Get Ready To Be Amazed!

The Stuntman
The shirt that proves it...
The Reward
The Obstacles
Let the stunt begin!

Will he be able to get to the dog bowls?
Let's see...

After a mad dash into the kitchen, our stuntman does not get
discouraged by any of the obstacles!

Ladies and Gentlemen... His hands are in the bowl. I repeat:
His hand are IN the bowl! Can you believe it?!STOP!

This is where the stunt ended because the stuntman proceeded to tip over the entire waterbowl and was about to put a handful of dogfood in his mouth. However, don't worry.
He'll try again...
and again...
and again...

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

I caught Christian singing this song last night...

(Sung to the tune of Row, Row, Row Your Boat)

Flush, Flush, Flush, Flush-Flush
Flush down my poop and pee
Cause if I don't I'd better run
Cause my mom would fart on me

Sidenote: I never said I'd fart on him if he didn't flush....I may have threatened to flush HIM down the toilet if he didn't flush.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Mason isONE!!!

Mason celebrated his very first birthday this past Saturday. I have to admit that I did get a little emotional with the fact that he's quickly going past babyhood and into toddlerhood.

Here he is on his real birthday.
Here he is at six weeks old.
Mason and his big brothers.Four Months Old
First ChristmasFirst EasterMason on his birthday (This picture was taken at exactly the same time he was born the year before)

Ya Don't Drink From That Cup

There was a pre-puberty-(kind of)-monumental event that happened this past weekend. Christian is playing football this coming season and he had to buy his first athletic cup/supporter! I know-- I know-- I am a sad sad person to think of this as a big event let alone an event at all. However, this is the closest that I will ever get to going out with my daughter to buy her first training bra. This is my male version of bra shopping. I remember when my mom took me to buy my first bra when I was 10 years old. I was so proud of my bra with the little pink flower in the middle (didn't all of us girls have that one?) that I showed all of my friends. *sigh* I loved that bra...

I wanted to take my camera to the store when we went to buy the cup, but I was told by my husband that I shouldn't. In fact I was told that maybe I shouldn't even go. They were just going out to buy a cup. Ummm...hello? This was not 'just a cup'. This was a big deal - at least to me - I was going. We all hopped into the van (sans camera) and headed to Dicks. Coming from a family of all girls this was my first athletic cup shopping excursion. While in the van I kept singing, "We are going cup shopping. We are going cup shopping." over and over and over again. Rich just kept glancing over at me rolling his eyes, Christian kept telling me to stop singing, Timmy kept asking 'Can I have a Spongebob cup?' and Mason kept on drinking his bottle probably wondering how he ended up with such a crazy mother.

Finally we arrived to our destination and the whole Weener clan headed into the store. We went thru all of the aisles looking for athletic cups when alas we finally found them. There was a mother and son - who appeared to be Christian's age - leaving the aisle with cup in her hand. Our eyes met for a minute and I just knew that this was her (son's) first one too.

Half of the aisle was full of cups and supporter. I was looking up and down at all of them. They all....looked the same. They were all 'just a cup'.There were no colored ones or ones with some cool print on them. They were all white! How boring is that? Oh wait....some had holes in them - big woop. I have to tell you that I was a wee bit disappointed in the whole athletic cup thing. The next time he needs another cup or if the other two need one, I'm not going unless they come up with some cool ones. :)

While we were in the aisle Christian asked Rich how the cups worked. Rich gave him a quick run-down on how the mechanics of it all. Christian's response? "Gross!" Needless to say Rich had Christian try it on when we got home and at the end he liked it! Yep, Christian wore it under his shorts and proceeded to let Timmy kick his private area the rest of the day.

It sure ain't bra shopping that's for sure...

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Puppet Master

I know everything that is happening in the world with North Korea is quite serious. With that said, whenever I see North Korea's leader Kim Jong II I can't help but to laugh and picture this:

Photo from the crude (but somewhat amusing) Team America movie.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006
You see this pic to the left?...That is me two-and-a-half years and a good 75 pounds ago. Like many women I've always had issues with my weight. The main thing I was never happy with my body. Growing up I was never the fat girl, but I was never the skinny girl either. I was stuck somewhere in the middle. Oh and then I had kids... I never lost the weight from my first child...I gained. Right when I was in the middle of trying to lose weight from the first baby, I got pregnant with the second. Heck, most people who didn't know me didn't even know/couldn't tell I was pregnant. Right after I had my second, I decided to lose weight. So for the next three/four years I would gain/lose the same twenty pounds. Somewhere in the mix, I stopped losing and just started gaining (and gaining and gaining). I would just keep eating because I could never get that big...right? Well, one day something clicked...or should I say someone clicked a picture of me and some co-workers at a gathering. The date? December 12, 2003. I will never forget that day. It's the day I woke up. The blinders were lifted from my eyes and I got a really good look at myself and boy was there a lot of me to look at. That day I decided I didn't want to be like that anymore. I didn't want to be skinny...that ws not my goal. I wanted to be healthy.

On December 18th I bought an eliptical machine and started the South Beach diet. I was completly dedicated to watching what I ate and to exercise. It was wonderful -- I couldn't believe how fast the pounds flew off! By July of 2004 I was down almost 90 pounds. Now mind you I wasn't really thin, but I was so much happier. In November of 2004 I discovered I was pregnant (planned). It was so nice to be pregnant and for people to actually notice! It's incredible to believe that I weighed almost 60 pounds less at nine months pregnant (picture below) than I did before I started my lifestyle change. Can you believe that? For the most part I've been pretty good with my diet and exercse. However in the last month-in-a-half I stopped exercising altogether which than made my eating horrible. In that time I've gained 12 pounds. 12 a month!! I made myself a promise that day on December 12, 2003 that I would never let myself go back to bad habits and here I am breaking my promise. But do you know what? Today is a new day and I forgive myself for letting me go. I started phase one of South Beach if I appear to be a little's from the sugar withdrawals I'm experiencing!

Weener Weekend Match-up
Match the picture with the event!

1.) The Japanese Beetle Invasion.

2.) Christian and Timmy hanging at the zoo.

3.) Mason just chillin' in the water.

4.) Just a picture of the band The Beatles (Just because)

5.) A couple of gorillas at the zoo

6.) A Pelican (probably eating Nemo)

7.) The King of Rock

8.) Mason in the water with Nemo

9.) An otter in the water

10.) The Birthday King

Family Politics

****Vote For Weener!****

That's it -- I'm running for office!

I don't care what the position is that I'm running for, but gosh darn it -- I would make a great candidate for something. I've come this conclusion after having had to had to spend time with both Rich and my one room. In a political environment our families would be broken down to this:

My Family = Liberal Democrats* or The Hatfield's
Rich's Family = Conservative Republicans* or The McCoy's
*Note: I'm not saying that our families are actual card-carrying members to these parties for all I know they are all members of the same party...

That leaves Rich and I in the middle of all the mess. We are the peacekeepers. We are the ones that keep everyone amicable and at least talking to some extent. Don't get me wrong, we do have times of peace in the house when they are all come over. There have been lots of happy times. But it really is an up and down relationship with both parties. Currently we are in unsettled waters at this time and are in peace talks with both families.

The topic of all of this current mess?

Oh that would be the bill that was introduced to the house on July 8, 2005 otherwise known as the Mason Act. You see, ever since Mason was born everyone seems to be fighting for him. Whether it be that one person from one side holds him too much or that someone from the other side just snatches Mason without asking. There is always someone who is never happy or someone who calls Rich secretly to tells him that she is never going to come to anything if the other family is invited.

With our quick thinking , (sometimes) lies or just by telling them something that they want to hear; Rich and I always know what to say or do to make the sides settle down. Of couse it all has to be handled very cautiously and delicately. We don't want anything taken the wrong way. - Which in situations like this can happen very easily. - All in all I guess we are doing a pretty good job. We could have had an angry mob burrowing into the house at every gathering. On the bright no one has killed the other one yet. That is a good thing, right?

I know what you are probably thinking. "But why just have something separate for the families or just don't invite anyone at all?" Ah, yes. Sure we could do that, but it still brings on other issues. Like maybe one side is going to think that whatever we do/whatever day we have whatever on...will be better than what we did with/for their side. And if we don't have/do anything? Then of course we are probably sneaking something with the other side. It really is a no win situation.

Like I said....No one is dead...yet...

Happy (belated) 4th of July from the Weeners!!

We didn't go to any cookouts nor to any firework shows yesterday. We did, however, try to find sparklers for the boys with no luck. We broke out a few boxes of those noise popper/snapper thingies - you know those little white ball like things that make a snapping noise when you throw them onto the grown. Yep, so we had our own little hillbilly fireworks show! Minus the fact that we didn't shoot any rifles into the air, my many hick descendants - Uncle Whitey, Great-Aunt Rosie along with my other coozie-carrying kin - would have been quite proud. That is what being American is all about!