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Warning To The Grammarically Correct: If it just bothered you that I wrote "Grammarically", you may as well leave now because my grammar gets even worse.

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Location: Land of Runny Noses, Flatulence, Bugs and Plenty of Roads....d

I'm a wife and mom to three boys. I love everything 80's, anything chocolate and loathes politics. I like to run for fun (preferably NOT in the hot, hot sun)....

Thursday, August 10, 2006

The movie Snakes on a Plane isn't out yet, so here is something that might amuse you until then...

Me in a Bikini!

(Warning: REALLY bad photo editing involved!)

Okay so maybe I am cheating a little...

I was bored and playing around on the internet today trying to find something that would spark my interest. The news sites are just too depressing (Hope nobody has to catch a plane today or buy gas for that matter.). The celebrity gossip sites pretty much say the same things (Paris Hilton crotch shots and Britney Spears sporting redneck maternity wear....Yawn..). So what's a bored, has too much time on her hands, girl to do?

Just when I was about to give up on the World Wide Web, I came across a site where you can make your own virtual model. It sparked my interest so I went ahead and made my own model. I gave it a name, put in my height and my REAL *cringe* weight. I also was able to give it a hairstyle that was most like my own. So I clicked to create and BOOM there was the 'supposed' virtual mirror of myself. I began browsing through selected websites with my virtual me. I tried on some nice business suits and spring dresses. It was pretty neat. I then saw a link to bathing suits and thought "What the hell!".

At first I was just trying on one piece suits, which all generally looked the same. Needless to say, I got pretty bored with it fast. So with my same 'What the hell!' attitude I decided to 'try' on some bikini's. Just a note...the 'real' me hasn't worn a bikini since the summer of 1992, but that's 14 years and about 45 pounds ago...

*drumroll please*

And now ...for your viewing 'I' am in a bikini!Not too bad I guess, but wait something just doesn't look right. Maybe it ne]eeds some scenery...Not too bad...However, it's not very realistic. Let's get back to the scenery later. Oh, I definitely have to add this....Stretchmarks! Yeah...Okay...The stretchmarks are definitely more me...But I can't forget the...
Saggy boobs! Okay, I'm being too geneous on the droopishness of them, but it'll due. However, since I added the boobs I can't forget the...Batwings under my arms that I've acquired over the years...After playing with a ball, this is Mason's most favorite thing to play with! Okay, so I am really getting somewhere now...but how can I forget....The moles on my chest and the huge one on my belly (All been checked by a doctor and none of them cancerous...)...OMGoodness...It can't be complete without...The numerous spiderveins that have been taking over my legs for the past year.

So there you all have it...Me in a bikini. Take a long look because this is the only time/way you will ever see me in one again. (You're welcome!)

Oh wait! Before you go...I forgot to add the scenery. Should I add some palm trees and water again? want this as real as possible so here you go!Nothing like being in a bikini with two feuding boys and a overly-tired baby while playing in the kiddie pool that's located in your own backyard! Yep, nothing like some stick figure kids to make it all look real. ;)


Blogger hoping4_zzzsss said...

You are flocking hilarious - i have to check out that site now thanks LOL

11:03 PM  

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