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Location: Land of Runny Noses, Flatulence, Bugs and Plenty of Roads....d

I'm a wife and mom to three boys. I love everything 80's, anything chocolate and loathes politics. I like to run for fun (preferably NOT in the hot, hot sun)....

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

The Wall
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Many, many years ago I put up a wall.

I've never really mentioned this wall because...well...that would have totally ruined it's purpose and to tell you the truth I've had this wall for so long...that it's a part of who I am.

Before I continue, let me just state that this wall:

1. Is not as immense as the Great Wall of China. (But sometimes it can feel just as big...)
2. Nor is this wall infamous for a known nursery rhyme character's fall.
3. Floyd never named an album after my wall.

This wall was put up to protect myself from ever getting emotionally hurt and/or betrayed by others who happen to come across and try to befriend me. Don't get me wrong, there are some people that I let near my wall. There are even some people who I let climb my wall, but I only let them hang out at the top. They usually get a glimpse of the other side, but heaven forbid if they ever try to climb on over. Usually these people hang around for a while, but they get tired of sitting on the top and they leave.

I should also mention that my wall - while made of some of the most rigid and impenetrable of material, is invisible. It's obscured because I don't want to anger anyone who happens to walk by my wall. Even though my wall is invisible, you may find some grafitti on the outer layers. However, it's usually only smiley faces and corny jokes or...ahem...puns you will come across. You will NEVER find any political and/or controversal grafitti on my wall. Why should I let my views offend anyone? That grafitti is only for the inside walls.

And while I do hate to admit this, I believe that the wall is there to help hide any of my flaws - not in my outer landscaping...because no wall can hide that, but in my internal view.

I've been doing a lot of talking with my inner archetect. A. Lot. I have come to the conclusion that this wall needs to come down because one of these days it's going to collapse right on top of me and the sad part is no one will remember me. I am so sick and so tired of this wall. The maintenance on it is wearing me down after all of these years. Not to mention that sometimes it gets pretty damn lonely standing...guarding the inside of this wall.

It's not going to be an easy process. Nope, one whack of a wrecking ball isn't going to knock this wall down. I'm going to have to take this baby down one brick at a time. I know that there are going to be days when I won't make any progress on tearing down this wall of mine, but I can tell you that it IS coming down. Perhaps maybe...just maybe...when you cross paths with me and my wall; you may come across some of the rubble from the work in progress . And when you look in that pile of debris you may just find a piece of grafitti from the inner wall that has been keeping prisoner for all of these years.

And if you'd like, I'd let you keep that piece.


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