What Would Danny Tanner Do?

About a week ago Christian asked me THE questions of all questions. No, it wasn't THE question about where babies come from (because...duh... everyone knows babies just 'appear' or are brought by the stork or perhaps on some occasions the "beerman" puts a baby in your belly as a thanks for drinking all of the beers the night before (hey, it's happened, but thank God not to me!)...but anyway...) It was THE Santa Claus question. Christian was sitting at the kitchen table doing his homework and I was in the family room making a grocery list. Out of the blue he asked,

"Is Santa real?"

All I have to say is thank goodness my face was turned away from his, because it had that look of 'oh shit' written all over. I remembered that feeling oh so well... It brought me back to my school days when one of my teachers would catch me off guard and ask me a question to a problem that I didn't know the answer to. (Believe it or not...it didn't happen too much.) Oh the bullets of sweat that would pour out of my forehead - and sometimes down my back...I'd just want to hide under my desk! And I wanted to hide right then and there too when Christian asked me about Santa, but my big arse couldn't possible squeeze underneath the sofa. So I was pretty much screwed and I knew I couldn't get out of not answering...

I managed to squeak out a "yes" in response to Christian's question. I then asked him why he was asking. He said he was asking because a kid in his class told everyone that there was no such thing as Santa, that Santa is just your mom and dad. You know I once had a game plan for this day, but just like what happened at that karyoke bar via 1995 when I swore I was going to do a smoking rendition of "Ice, Ice Baby"...I froze and everything went blank. So, I tried to think if Danny Tanner ever had to answer this question.

My mind went into rewind trying to go through the various Full House episodes that I've watched throughout the years. Danny Tanner - for the most part - had the best advice and knew the right things to say. Sure -- Joey and Uncle Jesse had some great advice too, but Danny Tanner was THE MAN! Let me tell you, I have the best speech prepared if any of my boys are to drive a car into the back of my house. However, sadly I didn't remember any episodes where DJ, Stephanie or Michelle (or Joey) had doubts about Santa.

So I was on my own on this one.

"Well, that's a shame he doesn't believe in Santa. It must be so sad not to believe." I said and then held my breath awaiting cross examination. Right then and there I concluded that if Christian was going to keep pressing the issue then I may have to tell him the truth about the whole Santa thing (which would've kill me). I looked over at Christian and I could see the wheels spinning. He looked over at me and said,

"Yeah, I feel sorry for him too."

I was so relieved! Turns out I didn't even need Danny Tanner...