Other People's Kids...

I've been debating on whether or not I should post this because I don't want to come out of this post looking like a grumpy, old woman. Against my better judgement, however, I'm just going to let the old hag that is dormant in my body come out....

Let me start off by saying that I know my kids are no angels. I don't have them on any "My kids are better than everyone else's" pedestal and I'm sure my kids are guilty of some things that annoys other kid's parents.

Chapter I -

The Refridgerator Raiders (Otherwise known as the Gremlin Syndrome) ...

Normally you don't mind feeding the other people's kids that come over to play with your own kids. You give them a snack every now and then. Usually they don't even have to ask for something to eat...you just give it to them from the bottom of your "I want to be a cool mom" heart. However, the Refridgerator Raiders are different. As soon as these kids come over to play with your kids they make it known that they are 'dying' from hunger. Apparently the hunger pains hit them as soon as they enter the door to your house. It usually starts out innocent with a slice of watermelon one day and a fudgesicle the next, but before you know it they hint at the chips and cookies and popsicles and grapes and carrot sticks and cheese...etc... that are in your house.

The funny part is that you know that they're parents actually do feed them.

Solution:

1. You can tell them no when they ask if they can have that banana (which btw is the last one and you had your eye on it yourself.).
2. You can lie and say you don't have anything to give them to eat.
3. You can purposely NOT have anything to eat just to spite him/her.
4. You can tell them to go home and ask their parents for something to eat.
5. You can move.

Chapter II

The Spend-The-Night Knights...

You know it's coming by the whispers and the plotting that is going on around you. You also know it's going to be asked because a couple of minutes after the other people's kid came over, s/he asks your kid, "Do you want me to spend the night?" You hold your breath and just keep acting as if you can't hear a lick of what they are mumbling to each other. So you sit and wait for the moment that the question will be asked. Now mind you that it's the start of the weekend and all you want do is relax. As a matter of fact, the other people's kid spent the night last weekend too...so now they was a repeat of last weekend? You already know that you are going to say 'no' to the sleepover, but you know you are going to have a battle once the other people's kid informs your kid that their mom already said that s/he can spend the night at your house. (Which drives me batty!) Oh and also watch out because these kids will often have backup plans for spending the night at some other other peoples kid's home. This is most likely result in your kid having a major meltdown when you say no.

Solution:

1. You can put on some earplugs, say "No, not this weekend." and book out of the room.
2. You can say, "You can't sleep over here, but 'insert your own kid's name' can spend the night at your house!"
3. You can just mention something about the boogie man that lives in your closet and who seems to only come out when your kids have friends over for the night.
   
4. You can move.

Chapter III
The Ding-Dongers ( can also be known as the Knock-Knock-Knockers)....

Finally - a moment of peace! Your kids are outside playing with the other people's kids. With the baby taking a nap, you have some time to just sit down and relax with some vanilla yogurt* and an old episode of 90210 that is playing on some random cable channel. Just as you are about to witness Brenda lose her virginity to Dylan...your doorbell rings. Wouldn't you know - it's your friendly neighborhood Ding-Donger! Once you become quite familiar with the Ding-Donger, you don't answer the door with a 'hello' but rather with a "What did he (meaning your own kid) do now?"

The Ding-Donger loves to tell you EVERYTHING that your own kids have said/did/chant that s/he is not happy about. Whether it be that your kid didn't give him/her a turn while playing kickball or that your kid was making cross-eyes while crossing the street. At first you may take it personally and think that you must have some bad kid, however, you re-think that once you get that 50th ringing of the doorbell for the day. It's also reassuring to you when you see that your doorbell isn't the only one the Ding-Donger love to ring. Apparently this kid has issues with all of the other-other people's kids in the neighborhood too.

*Make sure you are out of sight from the Refridgerator Raiders.

Solution:

1. You can just go along with the Ding-Donger and listen to whatever predicament s/he has at that moment.
2. You can disassemble your doorbell, but then the Ding-Donger will become a Knock-Knock-Knocker which btw can be even more annoying than the ding donging of the doorbell.
3. You can put a tattle box on the porch and just have the Ding-Donger write down all of his/her issues.
4. You can move.

to be continued....